My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize