And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
