He is an equal opportunity slut.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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