wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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