I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
