I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
