matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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