hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
