your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize
