Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You pole danced in your parka.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
