No, drunk sperm still make babies.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
