your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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