You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
