whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
