it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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