O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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