we have officially lost it.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
My vagina just recognized that song.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
