i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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