tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It's shark week go big or go home
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
