I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
