i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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