Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
