Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
