Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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