Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
