someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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