I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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