Betty ford says i'm here all night
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
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