1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Whod you bang
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
