i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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