my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
My vagina is officially offended.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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