The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
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