what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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