Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
