"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
