why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
