Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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