are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
