he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
