I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I just cut my nipple shaving
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
