belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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