So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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