hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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