It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
