Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
