i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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