pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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