I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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