hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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