I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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