How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
