Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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