he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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