He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
