You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
