Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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