I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
