Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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