so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
