Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
