operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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